She's like a pop up book from hell.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
