I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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