she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
