I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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