i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
