you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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