my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
