I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
