But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
