how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
