Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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