I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
