last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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