talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
