She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
