Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
