Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i now understand why vodka
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
