I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
