Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
