The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
