I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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