they need to just BURY HIM!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
They have beer where we have blood.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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