all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
