Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
