I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize