i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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