1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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