So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
