So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
