He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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