I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
