Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
