i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
