eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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