yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize