i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
