thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
