I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
