ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he was CRYING into my vagina
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
