On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
