I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize