you turned your livingroom into a bong?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
