I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize