in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
