Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
