You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
