I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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