They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
