He is an equal opportunity slut.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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