god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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