He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
