and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
