he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
