margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
