my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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