When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
