her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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