you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
