As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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