Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
