youre lurking in front of me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
