i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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