I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
